| When I reminisce of all the
things I’ve done in my previous years, I come to realize that everyone I use to
know .. I don’t know anymore. I can remember the many firsts I’ve had with everything, anything. I can remember
when I first stepped into Marlboro
Middle School and ended
up meeting almost every Asian in that school with the help of Pauline. I can
remember how we were separated because of Marlboro Memorial
Middle School. I can
remember how because of that, we grew distance from one another and made new “groups”
of friends. I can remember the “official” transfer of Quad J and I (8th
Grade). I can remember passing notes to Caleb and how Anni got entangled around
it. (She helped us out) I can also remember that tight anticipation when we
were graduating middle school and entering the big kid school, high school. All
of us knew that we were going our separate ways, to each their own individual high
school & program, but I suppose we all had faith in the fact that all of us
would still keep in touch. I can remember when Michelle and I would talk about
the many guys we would meet, the many senior friends we would make, the many
car rides we could get, and the parties we would go to.
But then Freshman Year broke
out and everyone seemed to be more distant. Of course, we all made our own new
friends because we weren’t in quads/groups anymore. We were in separate classrooms
doing our own thing. I remember how some of us still kept in touch and stayed
close as friends. Then Sophomore Year came rolling around and I can remember people
forming into cliques. And as of now, in Junior Year, I can still see the same
cliques. The only difference now, I can see more members of “good” friends in
it. I also see the year below us (current Sophomores) broke their Asian group
too. And things are a bit more quiet. People changed and people left. It’s
weird.
I, myself, can remember how I
acted. I can remember how I acted as an individual and how I acted towards
people. And I can remember how I use to look and do certain things. But after
all these “cliques” and such are formed, I wonder why I was never seriously in
any of them. Through the terms of events, I believe if I stuck it out with the
same people (for a very long period of time), I can have good and close friends
and be in a “clique”. Instead, I went running around the many towns around
Marlboro/Morganville. Either it be the South
or North (mainly North). And as of Junior Year now, the people I know from one
end of my life knows the same exact people on my other end. It’s weird. And for
some reason, I find myself stepping out of these groups. Not saying I was
invited to any of these groups of close friends but I’m just saying .. It’s
just weird how things play out in life.
Whatever. I’m happy with who I
am right now and I’m happy with the terms of events that have happened. I’m
happy that I’m not close to a lot of people and I’m happy that I keep to myself
a lot. I’m particularly happy with how I
talk. I might say something mean but there is a nice, kind thing behind it. I
just don’t like saying it because it takes too long and I don’t like showing that
side of me. The only thing I don’t like about that side is that sometimes..
people take it too seriously. But I suppose if they think of me negatively, it’s
okay to a certain degree. Mmmm, I miss Michelle. She was a the closest thing I
can even consider or call my best friend. Or something along those lines. Hardy har har. |
